Fresh Start

I am starting out slow.

My sister is getting married on May 19th. I am the Maid of Honor and I DON'T want to look like a whale up there beside her.

There are 13 weeks until her wedding. I need to choose I healthy goal and I need to do everything I can to achieve it. I think if I make this goal maybe it will make the other goal seem more achievable.

I still want to be a healthy weight by the time I turn 21, but at the rate I'm going, I'll be doubling my weight instead of taking it off. And that makes me sick.

I just hate cooking and it takes up so much time. But it's time I need to suck it up and do what I need to do to get healthy. I'm ready to change my life hopefully for good this time. I AM READY.

Here we go again

You know you're at your lowest when even your stretch pants are tight.
I weighed this morning, and the scale said 317. I have gained almost 40 pounds in 6 months. How does that happen? How could I do that to myself.

I have no energy to do anything, to see anyone, let alone try to make myself eat healthy again.

I feel like I am past the point of no return. How do I get passed this? How do I make myself happy again? How do I get back into the game?

There is no more self-control, I cannot stop myself from stopping by fast food place, sometimes I eat out three times a day...who does that?

My sweet tooth is so bad now that I go to Wal-Mart and by myself a cake. A CAKE.

THIS IS HORRIBLE.

I need to do something, I am killing myself and I am miserable.